A few words on gypsies

First of all, if any of my readers should happen to have a story about gypsies they would like to share, please post it in the comments field!

A former roommate pointed out that I have created a little motif of throwing things at gypsies. Mind you, I am certainly not a racist. I have just heard from enough people who have been in Russia and Eastern Europe to know that gypsies annoy the shit out of people in the city. By no means am I saying that all gypsies are a certain way and deserve to be hit with gallons of rancid milk. But I will say that I have heard some interesting stories about them. As a shout-out, a lot of these stories come from a guy in my Russian class who lived there for an extended period of time (not sure how long, I think around a year or more).

Firstly, any travel guide to any major Russian city advises foreigners to look out for packs of gypsy children. What may look like a poor mother with a gaggle of dirty children may in fact be a band of skilled pickpockets willing to use extrodinary means to relieve you of your money, passports, gold fillings, and possibly, anal virginity.

Secondly, the gypsies in Russia (as it has been told to me by people who have lived there) refuse to attend public schools and actually inbreed a fair amount.

Thirdly, I will describe to you some of the ways I have heard of gypsies trying to rob people on the Russian metro. My friend in Russian class told me that he knew of a method they used involving a cabbage wrapped in baby clothes. A crafty mother will pretend to slip and fall and chuck the "baby" at an unsuspecting passerby. When the person catches the "baby" out of reflex, the gang of dirty ragamuffins will empty the pockets of the passerby, leaving them nothing but empty pockets and a smelly gypsy cabbage. Another technique he told me about is that gypsy children will sidle up to you and poke you with little pins. Alarming indeed considering the HIV rate in Russia has been skyrocketing in the past several years. After you bend down to clutch your leg/side/whatever, they will rob you.

For these reasons and more, when people in Russia talk about gypsies, they will generally not use the term "gypsy" without a preceding equivalent of "fuckin'" or "goddamned." Again, I have no personal reason for disliking gypsies, but I have heard so many horror stories from people in Russia that I'm beginning to think like them (at least in terms of gypsies). Thus the references in the blog. Thanks Scott, for giving me the idea for this post.