Through Russia With Annoyance

So, this summer, I will be working at the U.S. Embassy in Vilnius, Lithuania. Although it was not my first choice (being non-Russian-speaking and not particularly important to international security), I suppose it should be a good time. Vilnius is a great city, and having been there before, I am eager to explore it once again... this time when it's not so cold the bums are freezing to death. In fact, I've heard that summers in Lithuania are pretty much idyllic, with temperatures consistently in the 70s. Sounds good to me.

Anyhow, in order to get there, I had a choice. Either I pay $1100-plus to go on Finnair or SAS, or I pay $950 and get the frequent flyer miles with...

Aeroflot! Yes, everyone's favorite vestige of the Soviet Union. Granted, for Siberian Summer 2k7, the flight from JFK to Sheremetyevo was perfectly cromulent (I will remain neutral on the cromulence of the flight from Sheremetyevo to Barnaul, in Siberia...) -- anyways, granted that flight was okay, so I'm not expecting the flight to be terrible. It's just not the same as Finnair, which is far and away more accomodating. In the end, flying to Moscow and back gets me one-fifth of the way to a free round-trip flight to Moscow with Aeroflot, so given that I already have the miles from Siberian Summer 2k7 under my belt (and a bunch I transferred from Northwest), I'm getting close to being able to get a free flight.

A thought occurs, though... Russian people are super-weird about visas and people being in their country. I know there is such a thing as a transit visa for traveling in Russia, and so help me if I need to buy one of those I am going to be pretty unhappy. I asked my internship coordinator about it, and she said she didn't know for sure but that Aeroflot should probably be able to help me. Yeah. Sure.

I figured I'd give it a shot and call Aeroflot's NYC offices. First of all, the woman cannot understand what my destination is. Oh, she speaks perfect English, and sounds like she might even be first-generation American, but the word "Vilnius" eludes her. She wasn't surly or mean though, so I'll give her credit for that (especially given that this is a Russian service-industry company).

The woman eventually comprehends where I am going, and says that I shouldn't require a transit visa if I am simply staying within the airport and changing planes. This is somewhat of a relief, but she sounds far from sure of herself about this, which is not particularly heartening. I ask my second question, which is, do I have to change terminals at all? This may seem like an inane question, but Sheremetyevo Airport is an inane place. You see, there are two terminals, domestic and international. Domestic includes most of the former Soviet Union, though, so really the distinction is somewhat misleading. The great thing about these two airports is that they are not connected at all. They are in fact a 10-minute bus ride from each other (on the free shuttle which costs 15 rubles).

The woman answers my question about the airport "Terminal C..." followed by an surprised "huh," indicating that she's thinking to herself "where the fuck is that?" I waited an awkward second or two to see if she was going to tell me where this myseterious Terminal C is located. She did not. So I pressed the issue, asking, "Well, which Sheremetyevo am I going to?" She shuffled some papers around, trying to find a map of the place, and she still couldn't figure out where it was. So at this point I figured I have a seven-hour layover so I should be able to figure it out when I'm on the ground. She agrees that this is an acceptable solution and asks if I need anything else.

Just to confirm, I go back to the issue of visas. She still seems to think that I won't need one, but doesn't seem all that sure about it. She said that if I tried to confirm with the Russian consulate or something, they would almost certainly tell me that I needed one. Great... so if the customs people are anything like the consulate people, I will be screwed as soon as I step on the plane at JFK.

For additional hilarity, check out what advice Aeroflot's website has for transit passengers (click on "From foreign countries to the cities of Russia and CIS") : http://usa.aeroflot.aero/eng/catalog.asp?ob_no=819 .

David Stira vs. the Russian Federation, round 2. Coming May 2008.