A (longish) footnote

Yes, I was in a bad mood yesterday. Yes, I feel much better after an awesome practice today. But I'm not recanting my very frustrated testimony. The frustration I felt yesterday is very real, and exposes itself when I am not happy with the way things are going. Today I enjoyed myself, so I'm willing to put up with the little things. Ultimately, though, I still believe I should not have to put up with such crap.

Admittedly, a lot of my frustration was directed at one person, who probably doesn't read this anyways. I am obliged to make a qualification of my earlier statements, however, in the interest of not being a jerk. It's kind of long, but hear me out.

I only invest my time in a small amount of people. The majority of people I interact with on a daily basis are cool, but honestly, I just can't/don't/won't bother with most people. Maybe it's being egotistical or whatever, but these are the facts.

So, take this person I ragged on yesterday. Much of what I wrote (but certainly not all...) is about him. He is one of these people in whom I willingly investing my time. He's a good ultimate player, even in his first full year of playing. Much farther along than most kids are at his age. He is also smart, funny, and just generally pleasant to be around. I have had several intelligent, nay, even intellectual conversations with him. Unfortunately, it seems like going out and drinking several nights per week is more important than studying in his life. Thus, his grades are not where they should be for his level of intelligence and his parents are on him like white on rice -- resulting in complications for attendance at tournaments and things.

This is infuriating to me on several levels. First of all, nothing pisses me off more than a waste of talent, especially of the athletic and academic variety. Smart people who willingly choose to sacrifice their academics for an insane overblown social life are a perfect example. And the fact that this particular situation is resulting in a dampening of athletic talent as well... now that just makes it doubly infuriating. To top it all off, this is one of those people I've chosen to let into my close circle of friends, and so that just multiplies my frustration, allowing it to reach blog-worthy levels.

It's just that you CAN do it all. You can go out a few nights a week and get schwasted, while simultaneously making Dean's List and even watching your favorite show/sport on TV with regularity. But sometimes, my friends here trade other more beneficial parts of life for the ephemeral happiness of the beer pong table. I think that I had an excellent and full college experience during my time at GW. I had a kickass social life, and still balanced everything. I did it, and while some people may think differently, I am not that smart. Really. I'm not. I have figured out the Dumber Monkey Theorem, I have figured out what I need to do to get A's, to get good SAT/GRE scores, to get on my professors' good sides. But that's about it. Sure I can use pretty words and b.s. my way through an essay -- but honestly? I don't read everything I am assigned. I have never stayed up past 3:30am doing school work because fuck, I need sleep! There is no reason why anyone else should not be able to do what I have done. Hell, look at my personal life. Complete disarray! Utter mayhem! All of my own doing, too. But I make things work because I know it's possible and there's no reason why I shouldn't.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I get frustrated when people can't handle it all, because I've handled it all and I don't think I'm any different from the average clown suffering through finite math. Along with that at the core of this issue is the whole idea of "wasted potential." More than anything, more than smoking pot in-season, more than Ted fucking Kennedy, more than screaming babies on airplanes or people who walk their dogs in sweaters, it is wasted potential *especially among my close friends* that pisses me off to no end. Maybe that's narcissistic, maybe that's unjustified, maybe it's just unrealistic for me to think that way, but the fact of the matter is... I think that way.

I'm not angry because a person can't come to a tournament. Fuck, I've played a full Saturday of games with nine dudes before, I don't give a shit. I'm angry because sometimes people make conscious decisions in their life that preclude them from reaching the apex of their abilities. And they know it, too. They know they could cut back one night a week of partying and get better grades. That's a waste, and it pains me to see such people shoot themselves in the foot so needlessly.