Rants of a captain on a young team

I want to begin by saying that I love my team. I get frustrated (and this is one of those times) with a lot of things, but deep down I do want the best for them and I do enjoy being together. Furthermore, the problems I am about to rant against are not pervasive -- there are certainly people on the team whose level of dedication meets my standards.

But god damnit there are times I feel like the team dad whose belligerent progeny are pushing him dangerously close to sending the whole lot of them to military school.

Right now I'm trying to set up a tournament. I have thirteen people confirmed, and I sent the initial "are you coming" email yesterday afternoon. Never mind the fact that our team has reached its numerical nadir, with 20 players and no B-team. I've always thought that 21 players is the ideal number for a team, but let me give you the breakdown of ages:

1 graduate student
1 senior (who will be gone for April and May)
3 juniors
4 second-year sophomores
3 noob (or very close to noob) sophomores
8 freshmen

I have the honor of being one of our two elected captains, so I find myself in a position to be giving orders and administering the logistics of tournaments and whatnot. Every time I have to organize a tournament, the same crap happens: I have to pester people in person to get responses that should be submitted via email, getting a response of any kind takes forever, and always always always someone's parents won't let them go.

Now admittedly, my parents had a lot to do with my life when I was a freshman and a sophomore. Thank the various gods (and my parents) that they let me do my own thing and rarely demanded anything of me (visits home, regular phone calls... you name it and I didn't have to do it). That isn't to say it was smooth sailing -- I still resent their decision to prohibit me from joining ROTC. That aside, even when I was older, I never had to deal with this shit from our younger players at g-dub. Why is it that people who go here have parents breathing down their neck the entire time? Not making practice because your parents are in town? Even after you spent all of Spring Break at home? Man. In this case, I don't fault the kid at all, I just feel bad for him.

The other end of the spectrum also exists. At some level, the way that all of our guys act has to have a lot to do with the level of parental involvement. People who receive daily anal probes from their parents will actually brag about "drinking every night" the week before tournament week. Then tell me they are questionable for the tournament because their parents won't let them go! And then, not five minutes after telling me this, start talking about plans to get drunk that (Monday) night!!! Never mind the fact that I was in the car the entire time while they all talked about this get-together and not a word of invitation was spoken to me. Never mind that fucking unforgivable rudeness. The question isn't just "why don't these parents let my players run their lives," but also "why should these parents let my players run their lives?" In most cases, I think the latter is actually more pertinent.

Even as I sit here right now, I can't believe I'm writing this. I never thought I would be defending strict parents in any way shape or form. I refuse to buy into the idea that I'm at a state school and thus people are dumber. And I never thought I would be saying, well, it's gotta be just because they are so young and they don't get it yet. I think, generally speaking, young people get short shrift in terms of knowing how to run their lives. But that's the most plausible thing I can think of right now. And the worst part is that there is NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT THAT.

I can't be a babysitter. I can't be the fun police all the time. I can't not to tell them to drink Monday... and Tuesday... and Wednesday... and so on. But I also can't force them to be more mature. I can offer to proofread papers and accompany them to the library -- I can offer these things until I'm blue in the face... but what can I do if people are unwilling to recognize that there is a problem?

Well, I can write my blog. I can go to practice and hand out sprints like a mall kiosk. I can go to tournaments with 2/3 of my team, get 100 touches per day, and exhaust myself playing point after point after point. Ultimately, this is why I feel like I'm in exile out here in Indiana. My main social grouping is a team that is so far removed from me in terms of mentality (which may or may not be attributable to age) that I feel completely isolated. I'm always the one yelling about people missing practice and smoking in-season. Worst of all, I get smartass answers every time I suggest something small people can do to make themselves a better player, or to make us a better team. The mentality just isn't there -- it's okay to drink instead of doing school work. It's okay to get C's on exams, and to miss practices because you spaced on a group project. It's even admirable or worth bragging about if you get wasted during the week.

It's not okay dammit, and this is how I get to end my career -- being the crazy old man on the team. Yelling about the olden days when people didn't think tournaments were fucking optional. Trying to get people to adhere to antiquated methods like phrenology, leeches, and hard-nosed fucking work ethic. It doesn't matter if the old man is talking, we'll just talk over him, or just not listen at all. "Right, right, grandpa... you have to step out when you throw... yes, yes, I see you gesticulating wildly trying to tell us where to cut but sorry! I know better because I've had a whole (0.5/1.5) year(s) of experience, I know what I'm doing!" That's how I feel at practice. And always... always hearing murmurs of "next year we're gonna be sooooo good..."