In lighter news (LT update 3)

Today I had to do some top-secret video tape destruction. Equipment required: screwdriver, plastic bag, THE DISINTEGRATOR!!

First, I had to get the damned spools out of the tapes themselves. I would explain why, but I really don't want to get into the mechanics of THE DISINTEGRATOR!! for security reasons. I decided to start prying them open with a screwdriver. There were a few reasons for this -- one, I didn't want to be slamming videotapes with a hammer right outside the Consular office. Two, I didn't really want to make a mess, which I would then be required to clean up. Anyways, I started with the screwdriver, but I quickly found this method of tape spool extraction to be exceedingly slow.

Enter VBox, one of the Marines. After expressing his initial amusement that this was my job for the day, he offered the sage advice that "Shit, that's gonna take you forever. Why not just do this?" He proceeds to set one of the tapes against the curb at a 45-degree angle... and stomp on it. It was effective, despite the bits of plastic all over the place. I elected for this method, as the screwdriver was already pissing me off. So that's what I did this morning. I stomped on video tapes. And then...

What is THE DISINTEGRATOR!!, you ask? Well, it's a machine that disintegrates stuff. Kind of like a shredder but for instead of paper it shreds objects. People like A-ron might want to invest in one for getting rid of dead hook... things...

Needless to say, it is a badass motherfucker of a machine. I wish I could say the ensuing injury was from getting my hand stuck in its iron maw or something equally cool, but in fact, I sliced my finger open in a more interesting though less graphic way.

Breaking video tape -- the tape itself -- is annoying. You've gotta pull on it really hard really fast to get a clean break, otherwise, it just stretches out into a thinnner and thinner filament before breaking -- like shitty plastic wrap or plastic bags (there's some ordinary object that has similar properties, but I just can't put my finger on what I'm trying to think of here). Anyways, so I tried to rip this one videotape and it stretched out all funny into a thin, thin filament and then youch, it sliced through my finger.

Also, video tape does strange things when it's broken. It may seem all smooth and shiny at first, but when it breaks, it shoots all this black dust into the air (like toner). Except the black dust kind of coagulates into little flying black dust-bunnies. Anyways, some of said black dust is now embedded in the cut, so I hope it's not toxic.

Other funny thing. I received an email in my work email that stated: "The mailroom received a small package ... yesterday that was improperly addressed and we are unable to determine who the intended recipient is. If you are expecting a package of diapers from 'Tiny Tush LLC' please see [person] to claim your shipment. Thanks." Someone then proceeded to ask the guy who wrote the email if anyone had claimed them... at the full Embassy meeting.

Well it's Friday night here, so I'm out.