The "Oh, dear..." Story

A funny story. I take a class that is taught in a seminar-type way. The professor always always always goes around the room and asks that people contribute to the discussion, and even when they're dead wrong, or clearly bullshitting, he'll offer you a bailout by calling on someone else to help you through it. He does this every class, we expect it of him.

He also is a very stuffy individual - imagine a person with the stuffiness of a frigging Duke of Shittsborough or whatever, but who is very not-British. He always addresses the students as Ms. or Mr. Whatever. Example, I am always addressed as Mr. Stira. This is my professor. This isn't to say that that is bad, he just has a certain way about him which can sometimes lead to hilarity.

Well, a few weeks ago, hilarity did indeed ensue. There is a student in my class, let's call her Ms. Austin (not her real name, but whatever, it's the kind of crackers I'm eating right now, and there's no need to single her out). Anyhow, Ms. Austin had already been called on and BS-ed her way through the professor's scrutiny. She clearly thought she was done for the day so she decided to take a little nap. She was sitting up, fully in her chair and everything, but her head was dipped. She really looked like she was looking intently at her paper, but seeing how she didn't move at all, it soon became apparent that she was dozing. Okay, now keep in mind there are roughly 15 people in this class. Sleeping during it is a pretty audacious move to begin with. Skipping is also pretty ballsy. Anyhow, the point is, it's a small class.

So Ms. Austin is snoozing peacefully, while the professor is directing our discussion. Then, in his random fashion, he calls on her again. "Ms. Austin... what do you think about [insert whatever we were talking about here]?" No reply. "Ms. Austin?" Still nothing. The professor lets out a cheerful, but terse, "...oh, dear." We're all pretty much in hysterics here, because this is the funniest shit we've seen all day (keep in mind, it's a 9:35 class). So he moves to someone who is more conscious (literally) to continue the discussion. About thirty seconds after our professor's misdirected query, she awakens and looks around, inevitably to see if anyone noticed her doze off. Of course, we all smirk to each other, noticing that she is finally awake. The best part is, I assume she still doesn't know about what happened, because no one told her that morning, that's for sure.

I have beef with sleeping in class. Not only are you wasting your/your parents' money, but you are horribly disrespecting your professor. You may have good intentions, because after a long night of studying, you still want to show up so that you can justify spending thousands of dollars to be here. But your professor doesn't know about your shitty night. What you are saying to him/her is that "I walked all this way, and did your homework, and I still don't have a reason to keep myself awake in your class." I'd be pissed if I were a professor. No, actually that's not true. I'd fuck with them. I'd fuck with them good. Writing shit on their forehead would be just the start. They deserve it. But I'd probably get fired, so maybe I'd have to wait until I had tenure of some kind.

Basically, it amounts to skipping class, and I don't like to skip class. It's a waste of money, most of all. I pay a ridiculous amount of money to be a student here and I just can't justify skipping class for no reason or sleeping through it. I don't even want to divide my tuition up by class and then find out how much I throw down the shitter every time I skip class. I would probably have an aneurysm on the spot.