Probably as good as it's going to get

This last weekend and beginning of this week have been, in the words of Ms. Hoover, 'perfectly cromulent.' To begin, spring break. I pretty much got left out of everyone's spring break plans, for reasons that are still under investigation. I'm still not entirely thrilled with what happened, but what can I do? Be mad at the best friends I have here? Clearly no, but it's still something stuck in the back of my mind -- I'm not sure exactly how to handle it. Anyways, spring break was indeed perfectly cromulent.

I stayed in D.C. to relax my more-frazzled-than-usual self, and all seemed to be pretty boring. What did I do with myself you ask? Well. Take my current schedule, replace "class" with "playing Civilizations 4," and you have my week. But on Friday, things were getting busier. First we went to the movies to see "Thank You For Smoking," which was certainly not a waste of the exorbitant ticket price. Plus, I think I set a new PR for smuggled candy. A can of Sprite, a bottle of Defense Vitamin Water (because the people I work with decide to come to work with burgeoning pathogen populations), a box of Junior Mints, a bag of M & M's, a two-pack of Hostess cupcakes, and a bag of salted peanuts. The only thing I had on me was my green jacket. I'm pretty proud of that, even if you're not. My friend, though, told me that one time he and his friends snuck four bottles of wine into a theatre. Something to aspire to, I suppose.

Next was the party in the ghetto with a bunch of g-dub alumni and those of us who were in the city. A pretty uneventful night until I got bored and became hyperactive. Earlier, Ed was whipping a wiffleball bat around messing with people, so when I went downstairs and saw Bert holding a broom, I took it from him, saying that I needed to go hit Ed with it. I went and jabbed him a bit, but upon exiting onto the deck area, I noticed the propane grill. Having gone inside and confirming with Ed that my idea was indeed awesome, we proceeded to remove the grating from around the grill apparatus and light the grill. Subsequently, I lit the broom on fire with the burner inside the gas grill. It burned pretty well, and flaming globs of plastic were falling off the mangled broom at an increasingly brisk pace. Brody extinguished said blaze with about a pint of beer, but only after all of the bristles had burnt off, and the bristle-holder had been melted about halfway down the metal handle. One of the killjoy women at the party told me I'd probably inhaled "all sorts of CFCs." Whatever. My grandfather just turned 93 and my mom's grandfather lived to 110. They dealt with the fucking Great Depression, I can deal with CFCs, thank you. I was later praised by the owners of the broom and asked to pose for a picture memorializing its destruction, having been told that "this is the kind of shit [they] would have done if [they] were at a party like this."

The fun wasn't over quite yet, as I spotted a plastic tablecloth making rounds through the small crowd. Seeing Boshanks being his normal goofy ass across the room, I ripped some holes in the table covering and bam! Hilarity. The next day, Mr. Shanks, having been quite intoximicated the night before, said that "all I have from last night is a picture of myself in a stupid hat and some sort of green poncho." My response? "First of all that's not a poncho. It's a tablecloth. And secondly, I put it on you and it was amazing." Probably one of the better nights out I have had in a whhiiiille, and not just because I got to burn shit. Seeing Scuba Steve and Wurtzel have the whitest dance-off ever at the very end of the night, set to Michael Jackson's "Bad," was a fitting cap to a hilarious evening.

Sunday was pretty much recovery, Monday was school again, then today I got my Russian Literature midterm back. 97. Totally amazing. The best part was that I did above-average on my Econ exam (of course, the average was 66 and I got a 70). Either way it amounted to a B with the curve, which is pretty much the best I can get in that most horrid of subjects.

Also, getting random messages from people you haven't talked to in forever is awesome. Someone I knew from high school was thinking of getting tickets to come down here and watch the NCAA tournament games, and just by that, they thought of me and left me a message, even though they weren't coming. Hopefully the coming days will be filled with equal amounts of cromulence. Wow, this post was a little too sugary even for me. Guaranteed I'll have something to bitch about again soon.