Burning Bridges

This was the last article I wrote for my high school newspaper. It was published June 13, 2003, as I was graduating, having written for all four years of my high school career. Needless to say my views have changed somewhat. Enjoy.

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Might as well try to do some CYA work here before I start. THIS IS DESIGNED TO BE INFLAMMATORY. None of this is aimed at any specific person, rather our community/population as a whole. Even so, I'm gonna catch some flak for this... bring it.

On Stoners & Drunkards

Oh, my favorite people. "Oh, I'm not hurting anyone by doing that stuff, as long as I don't drive." Okay, I might buy that. "You shouldn't judge someone just because they do that stuff." Bull. To say that doing pot or drinking yourself stupid shouldn't reflect on your character is absolute drivel. Whether or not you believe that pot should be legal, it is not. Whether or not you believe the drinking age should be 21, it is. If the only way you can have fun is get high or drunk, even though you know there's lots of LEGAL alternatives, your life is sad. It's as simple as that. You are weak. You cannot muster the mental capacity to find something better to do with your time. Personally, I believe that legalizing marijuana is a good idea. Why? Because the government can make massive amounts of money off of stupid people. We do it with cigarettes, why not try pot? Anyone who needs pot to have fun deserves to have their brain rotted from the inside out. "Oh, I only do it once in a while, so it's ok." Yeah, and I only go bowling once in a while, I only go to the movies once in a while, I only go out to dinner once in a while, I only play ultimate Frisbee once in a while, but I still have a good time, and I don't need my mind altered to do it! Do something with your life. If you need to alter your mental state to release yourself from the life you're living, you are weak. Instead, why don't you try doing something with your life instead of smoking yourself stupid? There's a novel thought. But then again, that requires CHANGE, which requires a lot of HARD WORK, so since our society wants a quick fix for everything, let's just all light up and get high.

On Golf

Golf is not a sport. Never has been, never will be. Golf is just pool, except outdoors and with only one ball. Golf requires skill. It requires a keen eye and a steady hand. But there is no significant physical exertion involved, and therefore it is not a sport. Sure, golfers sweat outside and probably wish for a break inside an air-conditioned building. But try bouncing around a tennis court for an hour and a half, or running 4 or 5 miles in 90-degree weather, or running back and forth on a soccer field, running 7 miles while burly defensemen are trying to plant your face in the turf. That is sport. Even more disgusting is the concept of caddies. Carry your own damn clubs! Maybe then you can actually burn off some calories, God forbid. Granted, one of my better friends plays golf, and I do not aim to take anything away from him or those who are good at it and enjoy it, but I simply do not accept that it is a sport. Golf is a game of skill, end of story. Tiger may be jacked, and so may many golfers, but they didn't get that way from playing golf, they got that way from running, working out, pumping iron, etc. If golf is considered a sport, so must bowling, pool, croquet, bocce and the list goes on. And they want golf to be an Olympic sport...

On Censorship

I hate censorship. And I dislike politicians who want to tell me what I can and can't watch, play, or publish (example: Joe Lieberman). The government should not be telling us that our kids cannot play Grand Theft Auto or Rainbow Six on the Nintendo, Playstation, Dreamcast, GameCube, Xbox, GameBox, PlayTendo, GameStation, PlayCube, or whatnot. That is the job of parents. We take the lazy approach, which Americans love. Why raise our kids properly when the government can do it for us? Why take the time to tell our kids that killing people is wrong and that games are just that, games? Why do any of this when we can just sit back and let the government raise them as THEY see fit while we sit on our backsides, scarf down a bag of pork rinds, watch pointless reality-show claptrap and let our kids raise themselves! The increase in censorship is as much the fault of the American people as it is the politicians' because we cannot conduct ourselves in a moral and sensible manner anymore. I'm as much for making America a safe, friendly, moral and overall good place to be as the next guy. But censoring is just the easy way out. Let's do something about the root causes of atrocities like Columbine, and let's do it as COMMUNITIES and keep the federal government the hell out of the business of spoon-feeding kids and young adults.

On High School "Relationships"

Another one of my favorite things about high school. Look, I have no problem with people testing the waters and going out together. It's a part of high school. But it kills me to see these people running around, starry-eyed, thinking that "No, I can't hang out with you guys this weekend, I gotta be with my girlfriend," or "My boyfriend and I do this and this and this and this" or "Ahhhhh, I'm so in love." Yeah. OK. Sure you are. Come visit in five years, and we'll see where you are. It doesn't even bother me so much as it makes me laugh. All these people going through so much trouble in a relationship, screwing their friends over, when everyone knows that their class will be scattered across the nation three months after graduation. I'm sure everyone can think of someone like this, who completely excommunicates themselves to pursue a relationship and be with their "significant other," every second of the day and all weekend. This makes me laugh. Have fun with high school, have a girlfriend or boyfriend, but for the love of God, manage your time. Throwing yourself into a relationship and completely disregarding your friends is like tap-dancing in the middle of a minefield--sooner or later, it's all going to blow up in your face, and it will be difficult to get someone to come in and get you back on your feet.

On Coginchaug

Well, I really have to say I probably couldn't have had a better high school environment. Especially considering the dire condition of public schools in large cities, I really can't complain. But I'm going to anyhow, just because it's on my mind, and this is my last chance to write for this newspaper. Students are given no power in this school. Student Council isn't given the power to change school policy. The student body can feel passionately about an issue and yet the administration will often completely disregard it and try to patronize us by saying "We understand, we understand, we understand," and then not giving said issue a second thought. The biggest beef I have with Coginchaug is how it absolutely LOVES to focus on one or two excellent students, and then give them every possible honor and not even consider others. I have been passed over for so many things and, you guessed it, I'm bitter. Because every time there was some workshop position open (with the exception of CT Republicans Week on Washington), it was automatically given to one of four or five people, without so much as acknowledging other people who may be just as good in representing our school. People know we are an academically acclaimed institution, but they don't know how many talented students there are because the only ones given attention with invitations to workshops, commendations, recommendations, published achievements, etc., are the select two or three people all the time.

On The Student Body

Ahh, my comrades, partners in crime, cohorts, associates, nemeses and general populace. I could not have asked for a better senior class or a better environment. But I still have beef (surprise, surprise!). First, the general ignorance I hear every day "Oh, that's gay," "You suck," "F*** you!" "He's such a fag." Let's all grow out of fifth grade and talk to each other with at least some semblance of culturedness. Or we could just descend into using the vernacular and discarding all but maybe 10 or 15 cliches. Your choice. Another thing, no one stands up for anything anymore. And when some of us do, we can't even argue properly. I can respect someone for standing up for what they believe in. But that respect is diminished when they CAN'T ARGUE. You should be ready for people to challenge you. "Well that's what I believe," equals "I've got nothin. You win." Know your s***. Also, arguing with someone doesn't mean you hate them; arguing is fun. Don't feel intimidated; it's just like playing chess with someone. Arguing is hardly ever assailing someone's reputation or ability. Emotion has no place in argumentation. Logic does have a place. Stand up for what you believe. Stand for something, or you will fall for everything, as somebody once said. Since it's "not cool" for stand up for what to believe, people seem to just be one empty, Abercrombie-clad blob. Don't be part of the blob.

So see y'all later, I'm blowing the whistle on this fascist popsicle stand. Thanks to everyone who has read my articles, and thanks to D.A. for giving me a chance to write.